Marriage Problems

My wife came back from her trip to Maryland with her horses. Despite the lull we are still in the battle for our marriage. The issues we are confronting have caused me a lot of soul searching. I am beginning to wonder whether I truly understand my desires or what is pushing me to confront our problems. I know it started as a financial problem but I wonder if I might have spiritual problems with our relationship. The recent escalation of warfare started when I questioned and then overruled my wife's “business” decision to donate our stallion to Virginia Tech. She had finally given up on him as a riding horse and wanted to get him out of her sight. Since our stallion is one of our better business opportunities over the next couple of years and we are not independently wealthy, I felt obligated to overrule her. She had made several bonehead decisions over the last two years but this one was the worse. We cannot afford to be this stupid! I allowed my wife to make almost all of the previous business decisions since I was unwilling to fight her over them and now I wallow in my guilt. I envisioned her getting smarter about business as we went along. Unfortunately the time has run out and we have to be smarter with what is left of our money. As I wandered through this mess I found myself seeking answers from God, the Bible, my friends, my mother-in-law, and myself. My mother-in-law has been quite helpful since she has major problems with both daughters. My mother-in-law and her daughters cannot stand to be in the same room together. Each daughter believes if their mother would give them more stuff their problems would go away. Each daughter is selfish and self-centered. My mother-in-law contributed to the problem by trying to give the daughters everything they needed. Surprise, it didn't satisfy them and they want more. There is no sense of gratitude. It is their entitlement. I do not think that God intended for these three women to go to their graves hating each other so something has to change. I am pretty sure that God has a very small role for me in helping them to change them. I must be firm in fixing my small part of the problem. I wish God were hurry up and get to work. I will probably continue to search the Bible for ideas since this problem is as old as time. I wish I could be more confident that I will see a solution to this problem. A little clarity would be so nice! Reluctantly I have learned to trust in God's plan.  It is easy to say, “Trust in God” but so much harder to do when your marriage is on the verge of collapse. I pray for those three women every night. I pray that God will open those women's hearts to love each other for who they are. I pray that God will establish new priorities in their lives and a new sense of gratitude for what they already have. I pray that God will help me love my wife more fully than I have in years. I want to jettison the old baggage that is messing up our marriage. This is a tall order but my God is a big God!