My wife came back from her trip to Maryland with her horses. Despite the lull we are still in the battle for our marriage. The issues we are confronting have caused me a lot of soul searching. I am beginning to wonder whether I truly understand my desires or what is pushing me to confront our problems. I know it started as a financial problem but I wonder if I might have spiritual problems with our relationship. The recent escalation of warfare started when I questioned and then overruled my wife's “business” decision to donate our stallion to Virginia Tech. She had finally given up on him as a riding horse and wanted to get him out of her sight. Since our stallion is one of our better business opportunities over the next couple of years and we are not independently wealthy, I felt obligated to overrule her. She had made several bonehead decisions over the last two years but this one was the worse. We cannot afford to be this stupid! I allowed my wife to make almost all of the previous business decisions since I was unwilling to fight her over them and now I wallow in my guilt. I envisioned her getting smarter about business as we went along. Unfortunately the time has run out and we have to be smarter with what is left of our money. As I wandered through this mess I found myself seeking answers from God, the Bible, my friends, my mother-in-law, and myself. My mother-in-law has been quite helpful since she has major problems with both daughters. My mother-in-law and her daughters cannot stand to be in the same room together. Each daughter believes if their mother would give them more stuff their problems would go away. Each daughter is selfish and self-centered. My mother-in-law contributed to the problem by trying to give the daughters everything they needed. Surprise, it didn't satisfy them and they want more. There is no sense of gratitude. It is their entitlement. I do not think that God intended for these three women to go to their graves hating each other so something has to change. I am pretty sure that God has a very small role for me in helping them to change them. I must be firm in fixing my small part of the problem. I wish God were hurry up and get to work. I will probably continue to search the Bible for ideas since this problem is as old as time. I wish I could be more confident that I will see a solution to this problem. A little clarity would be so nice! Reluctantly I have learned to trust in God's plan.  It is easy to say, “Trust in God” but so much harder to do when your marriage is on the verge of collapse. I pray for those three women every night. I pray that God will open those women's hearts to love each other for who they are. I pray that God will establish new priorities in their lives and a new sense of gratitude for what they already have. I pray that God will help me love my wife more fully than I have in years. I want to jettison the old baggage that is messing up our marriage. This is a tall order but my God is a big God!

Seeing Islam as 'Evil' Faith, Evangelicals Seek Converts. At the grass roots of evangelical Christianity, many are now absorbing the antipathy for Islam that emerged last year. By Laurie Goodstein. [New York Times: NYT HomePage]

A nice article that is surprisingly even-handed on displaying the different point of views. I tend to side with Ergun Caner who says,

Apologetics is defending your faith, and polemics is critiquing others. A Muslim has the right to to worship Allah, and I have a right to stand in front of that mosque and tell them that Jesus saves. That's the hope for Iraq, the hope for Afghanistan.

I know most people who are curious about Christianity do not want religion stuffed down their throat. I think Rebecca Manley Pippert says it multiple times in Out of the Salt Shaker the importance of being yourself. Our humanity is one of the most important tools God uses to bring people closer to Him. Forced conversion is more likely to start wars than bring more people to God.

Last night the Cincinnati Vineyard Church had a volunteer appreciation night and invited Rebecca Manley Pippert as the guest speaker. I never thought a talk on evangelism could be so much fun. She did a really nice job of identifying barriers we erect to avoid evangelism and pointing out some of more humerous excuses. I think I will get her book Out of the Salt Shaker. For more information check out her website.

Last night the subject for 5th and 6th grades was fasting to increase spirituality. It is a difficult subject under normal circumstances but we had over 160 kids so it was tough subject and large groups. Crowd control issues overwhelmed the message. We finished with a great worship set. It was mixed bag type of night. My son, Henry, wasn't there. He had gone with a friend to see X2. When he returned from the movie I discussed fasting with him. I am pretty sure he enjoys the Area 56 celebrations and wants to keep up with what's happening. I proposed he he fast from video games for a week and he thought it was a very bad idea. No surprise!

Today we went to our regular 10 o'clock celebration and the subject was fasting. David, our senior pastor, did a great job presenting the subject but I just don't think adults like the subject any better than 5th and 6th graders. I talked with Henry again about the subject. I told him I am not only going to give up Freecell but I will do a food fast on Wednesday. David had challenged us to join him with a food fast on Wednesday. Freecell I need to give up so if I am honest with myself it doesn't count. Food I need. Henry offered to give up Mountain Dew for the week. It's not video games but I can work with that. We talked some more about how giving up Mountain Dew would increase his spirituality. He offered to read something at random from the Bible. I liked the idea since I think he would benefit from any reading of the Bible but I thought he should focus on one of the Gospels, such as, John. I just happened to be reading John this week. He said he preferred Mark! Huh? Well, we both are going to fast this week. I am going to give up Freecell and re-use the time to memorize favorite Bible verses. Memorizing Bible verses has always been a low priority task for me but it is much better use of time than playing Freecell. On Wednesday I will commit to a food fast and increased prayer. Henry will abstain from Mountain Dew when he comes home from school and instead read a chapter from Mark. Wow, I am impressed! I wish I could take credit for it but all of my ideas were rejected. God will make a way.

When there is a lack of honor in government, the morals of the whole people are poisoned. There is no such thing as a no-man's land between honesty and dishonesty. Our strength lies in spiritual concepts.

President Herbert Hoover

During the message today our senior pastor started showing some photos he had been sent about Iraq. Most of the photos showed soldiers with children. The last picture he showed was the one I posted here on March 23^rd. The title for the post was, the most important prepartion, in a desert war, and it showed a soldier, Pfc. David Kurns, getting baptized before going into battle. It was fun to see the picture again and find out that David enjoyed this picture. The picture was in an email I received. I don't normally forward email since I feel most people get too much email. This was one email I did forward to several people at our church and now I wonder if Dave might of got it from me.

We in this country, in this generation, are by destiny rather than choice the watchmen on the walls of world freedom. We ask therefore, that we may be worthy of our power and responsibility, that we may exercise our strength with wisdom and restraint, and that we may achieve in our time and for all time the ancient vision of peace on earth, goodwill toward men.

—John F. Kennedy (from a speech that was never delivered, due to Kennedy's death)

An interesting thing happened on Thursday morning. I had just returned from dropping my son off at the bus. I went into my son's room to turn off his light and found his Bible and a night light on the bed.  He had read his Bible! As a Christian father this is pretty exciting stuff. As a naturally curious person I started to wonder at what brought on this interest in the Bible. I quickly recalled a conversation I had with the night before. It was late and I had settled into bed with the 6^th book in the “Left Behind” series, Assassins, when he came in. He started to pepper me with questions about what had happened since he had last asked. I stopped reading and brought him up to date on the multitude of plots. I had just reached the part in the book where Leon Fortunato is scheming to assassinate Peter Maximus, the religious head of Enigma Babylon One Faith. I had to explain that in the “Left Behind” story, all the religions of the world have been combined into Enigma Babylon One Faith. Our conversation wandered into a discussion of the shared beliefs of the major religions and he proudly told me that Islam believes in Jesus. He had learned all about religions in school. I said that Islam considers Jesus to be a prophet but not the Son of God. When you look at the life of Jesus you can have only two explanations. Jesus is either a raving lunatic or he is the Son of God. I don't think he knew that. What I am most amazed at is that I didn't see how a good story with a religion theme could encourage him into reading the Bible. Ooops!

The New Yorker.  A lesson of humility.  An excellent article.  Dwight Eisenhower said:

Humility must always be the portion of any man who receives acclaim earned in blood of his followers and sacrifices of his friends.

Conceivably a commander may have been professionally superior. He may have given everything of his heart and mind to meet the spiritual and physical needs of his comrades. He may have written a chapter that will glow forever in the pages of military history. Still, even such a man—if he existed—would sadly face the fact that his honors cannot hide in his memories the crosses marking the resting places of the dead. They cannot soothe the anguish of the widow or the orphan whose husband or father will not return.

The only attitude in which a commander may with satisfaction receive the tributes of his friends is in the humble acknowledgment that no matter how unworthy he may be, his position is the symbol of great human forces that have labored arduously and successfully for a righteous cause.

Bush should remember that this is concept he had once espoused.  The preening and strutting Bush exiting a helicopter and saluting a Marine is a sight to behold.  Another telling blow:

Our most wrenching diplomatic trials lately have been with the French, and yet President Bush has not spoken to President Chirac in the past six weeks.

[John Robb's Radio Weblog]

I have two points to make about this post by John Robb/New Yorker. There is a saying, “You are either part of solution or part of the problem.” I am pretty sure that George W. feels that President Chirac was part of the problem. The US-France relationship can be mended in time but these two leaders need some time apart. This works for George since he is pretty busy right now. It is obvious that the US does not agree with Europe on this issue and several others. This is not news but we tend to forget.

The second point is about the difficultly with expressing humility during a war. The quote by Eisenhower was made after the war. A safe time to be humble. During a war it is very difficult for a leader to express humility in such a way that it does not affect the confidence and morale of the soldiers. If a leader makes a mis-speaks and damages the confidence of the soldiers, men die. I can feel the confusion settle in as the fog of war creeps ashore here. I can only imagine what the commanders are going through. I pray to God to give them strength to deal with the fog of war, the self-confidence to express the humility they must feel, and the wisdom to do to express it in a way they will lift the spirits of their fellow soldiers.

About once a month I help out with a group at our church that helps people get connected with the various activities the church sponsors. I work the Sunday night service because that is where they needed the help. I guess its a hard time to get people scheduled for but it is the time slot I enjoy the most. Sunday night is the smallest service and Connections has probably the lowest traffic. It is both relaxing and fulfilling that I can give as much time as necessary for the people who come in. I guess many people would think I am wierd, but I look forward to serving in Connections. Occasionally I even feel guilty about serving in Connections. Although the people all seem happy with the help I provide, I think I get more out helping them.